Today is NBD for Adam. NBD stands for 'No Breast Day'. *Our objective is to train Adam to nurse from bottle. By the end of the day, when I gave him his feed using bottle, he looked longingly at me, and had that 'I want your teat!' all over his face. Kesian memang kesian but I am left with just another 2 weeks more. Tak sanggup to go through the same situation again like I went through with Iman. Berapa kali saya cilok dari ofis sebab dia (Iman) melalak tak henti-henti. Oh ya, ada orang request nak tengok stock EBM saya. Err.. saya kena clearkan sikit lokasi penggambaran sebelum shooting.. Yang pastinya, saya akan tempelkan juga nanti. Dah penuh 1/2 freezer you..

*It was not a collective agreement but since Adam is barely 18yo, his mother decided on behalf and claims as if it was Ummi-&-Adam agreement.

Tak ada apa nak bebel dah. The house is dark already. Budak-budak (dan bapak kepada budak-budak itu) dah lelap. I've just finished kupas bawang. What to do, that is the only time yang boleh buat kerja rumah secara aman dan tenang (walaupun tadi dah ada sorang jadi mangsa kupasan bawang, sebok sangat nak menolong, last-last pedih mata - sapa lagi kalau bukan si Muhammad Iman).

Have a nice weekend!

Menayangkan my Medela Swing.
Boleh guna letrik atau battery.
Takyah lenguh-lenguh mengepam sampai 20 minit.

Ya Tuhan!!
Kamu pamlah kot mana pun Iman oii, takkan bersusu t*t*k kamu tu..

Last 2 weeks Adam tak pooh2 on daily basis as he normally did. Sampai hari ke-3, seperti biasa, kami yang pathethic ni pun ke klinik. Masa tunggu turn tu, I sat with Adam in my arms, beside one chinese lady. Then.. you know the usual drill, baby dah berapa bulan, anak no berapa ect. She couldn't believe Adam was only a month old that time (judging from his size) and she wondered how on earth I managed to push Adam out into the world. Relakslah kak, zaman ni kalau takleh keluar gitu, dr buat gini. Takleh push, kena sedut. Takmo keluar jugak, kena bukak tingkap! But that's not the point of my rambling today. Saya sangat kembang bila dia tak percaya saya sudah ada anak 3 orang. Ala-ala orang beranak sulung gitu. Kembang makcik. Lagi terkejut bila dapat tahu anak sulung saya dah masuk sekolah rendah. Lagi best bila dia tak percaya saya sudah mencecah 34 tahun. Tebby sengih2 aje. Tumpang kembang sekali kot. Maka balik lah kami dengan sebotol ubat pelembut najis untuk Adam bersama-sama diri yang terkembang-kembang!

Sebenarnya, it took me only 2 weeks to get back to my normal self seperti sebelum mengandung. Maksudnya di sini bukanlah diri saya yang asal sebelum mengandungkan Kakak. More like sebelum mengandungkan Adam. Maksudnya, berat badan saya sudah 45kg, perut saya sudah kempis namun masih ada buldge (yang saya dah ada sejak bersalinkan Kakak tahun 2001). Itu pun saya cuma berbarut dan bertungku untuk 2 minggu saja. Minggu lepas saya berurut. Wahhh.. kembang makin menjadi-jadi bila makcik tu puji badan saya tak gelebeh2. Masa tu dia mengurut kaki dan belakang saya. Bila dia tengok perut saya, she was like 'oh my God, teruknya stretch-mark you and the flab'. He.. he.. I expanded too much to accomodate anak-anak yang besar. 3.5kg, 3.3kg and juaranya 3.74kg. Makanya, segala kembang-kembangan sebelum ini teruslah menguncup semula! Mungkin nak menyedapkan hati saya, makcik urut tu kata itulah pengorbanan kita as mothers and we should be proud of being one. Yes, saya sangat pasti saya berbangga melahirkan 3 insan hebat di dunia ini tapi stretch mark itu?? Oh tidak.. saya pasti saya tidak begitu berbangga sehingga sanggup orang ramai melihat perutku itu sebagaimana saya tak kisah dilihat bersama-sama anak-anak saya di public. Kalau nak tau, si budak Iman tu kalau nampak perut saya, mesti dia kata 'eiiiiiii...' Bertuah punya anak.. kat situlah awak bersarang dulu taww..

Btw, Tebby's back from Singapore. Begnya yang 1/2 berisi sewaktu pegi, pulang dengan 3/4 berisi. Kira hebatlah tu untuk standard dia. Walaupun dia tidaklah membawa apa-apa untuk saya yang perlukan measurement, he got me something I so like. Elizabeth Arden's Green Tea. Suker.. suker. In fact itulah perfume yang menjadi hantaran sewaktu kami menikah tahun 2000 dulu. Bila saya sembur pasti saya teringat balik hari-hari dan waktu-waktu permulaan kami hidup bersama. (Saya masih belum boleh sembahyang, jadi ada fasa-fasa kenangan tu saya simpan aje jauh-jauh dalam hati he he). Dan Rocky Road. Yess.. sudah tinggal kecik aje. Tebby bought coloring pens for Kakak (which she painstakingly sorok sebab takut Iman kidnap) and a soft toy for Adam. Iman takde apa-apa sebab setiap kali kami keluar pasti dia 'pau' sepeket kereta mainan. Walaupun begitu, mainan Adam sudahpun selamat menjadi sebahagian hakmilik dia juga...

Kat belakang tu gambar Iman masa kecik.
Kat sebelah kanan tu novel Laskar Pelangi by Andrea Hirata.. I like

Adam tengah berlatih dok dalam car seat sambil temankan Ummi basuh pinggan kat dapur tu.

Day 41. Hey, I kinda miss being pregnant, really! Haruslah Tebby pengsan sekali lagi nih. Tebby is flying back home malam ni at 9.15 from Singapore. All the immigration, ambik beg, gi ambik keta kat ofis, he'll be home as good as Saturday lah kot. I'll be waiting for him sebab dia tak bawak kunci rumah. Even if he does pun, I don't think I'll sleep a wink pon while waiting! Rindu beb!

We're doing fine. Fine here bermakna pejamkan mata melihat kebersepahan mainan atau ketidaksempuraan dalam apa2 jua berkaitan rumah okay. Adam susah nak lelap lama2 time siang. Punyalah mendodoi mamat tu sampai 1/2jam, kdg2 45minit, at time sampai sejam - dia lelap dalam 15-30 minit, then voila... mata bulatnya merenungku. Yang nyata saya amat berbeza di mata dia. Bila dia nampak saya, mulutnya cepat saja buat aksi hisap dan kunyah. Kalau nampak muka orang lain, dia relaks saja.

Iman, masyaAllah.. bila abahnya takde, tumbuhlah tanduknya tu. Lepas peristiwa minyak sapi, hari tu dia buat lagi. Kali ni gam pulak. Dipicitnya botol sampai keluar gam, letak atas tangan, sapu kat muka. Perghh.. ala-ala bubuh krim muka gitu. Pastu favorite food sekarang ialah LD Venus Gold keluaran Elken. Benda tu gunanya nak mengencangkan *ehem-ehem*. Kiranya fokus untuk hubungan suami isteri lah ni. Dia pulak pegi menyedut benda tu. Alahai Iman, kang kot kecut kamu punya *toot*, jangan salahkan Ummi pulak.

Kakak pulak jadi mangsa Iman. Cam punching bag lah. Dia pulak melodramatik bukan main. Tak melawan balik tapi mulut tu mengongoi-ngongoi mintak tolong sambil airmata meleleh-leleh. Iman pulak, no mercy punya. Kakak cuba lari, cecepat dia kejar, pastu hempap kakak. Kakak baring, dia duduk atas belakang kawan tu sambil minum susu dalam kotak. Ya Allah, cam Sarip Dol lah pulak anakku yang sorang tu. Si Kakak tu 22kg, Iman lak dalam 18kg. Cemana lah tak penyek Kakak tu.

Oh ya. Semalam Tebby ada sms tanya saiz baju ahli keluarga ni. Dia tak tanya pun saya nak apa or pakai saiz apa. I guess after 8 years mungkin semua measurement dah ada dalam kepala dia kot! Atau mungkin dia beranggapan saya cuma mahu sekeping cekelat cadbury rocky road yang saya pesan suruh dia beli di KLIA tu? Mungkinkah? Nasib baik saya pesan suruh beli yang paling sangat besar punya.

Okaylah. Ni saya tempelkan gambar si Adam. Masa ni around 5 weeks dah. Setelah ditelek-telek dan dibelek-belek oleh panel yang terdiri daripada nenek, atok dan mak-mak sedara.. makanya disahkan Adam ni rupanya lebih kepada rupa si Kakak masa kecik-kecik dulu.

Tidak adil kalau saya asyik bubuh gambar Adam saja kan. Ni saya tempelkan jugak pembantu-pembantu tak bergaji yang menjaga Adam. Sebenarnya mereka sedikit teruja sebab buaian tu baru dikeluarkan dari stor dan dipasang. Semua nak test power. Yang jadi mangsa sikenit dalam buaian. Lepas test power tu, bila mintak tolong buaikan adik, sorang pun tak sudi.

Tebby left for Singapore until Friday. Baru sat dia call habaq mai kat bilik dia giler lavish, ada LCD TV 42inci you.. Isk.. isk.. time saya tak ikut lah dia dapat bilik best. Masa kat Seoul, biliknya so-so saja. Siap ada selimut bulu-bulu gitu. Geli you. Masa pi Manila lak, bilik better than Seoul but then, still.. Orang tengah rilek-rilek, buleh ajek diorang pi pancut air cuci tingkap. Terkejut makcik. Ingatkan bunyi apa.

Err.. sesiapa boleh beri cadangan apakah barang yang boleh dikirim di sana? Untuk pengetahuan, suami saya tu sangat tak reti shopping. Haruslah beg 1/2 berisi tu akan dibawa balik 1/2 berisi jugak. Lainlah kalau bawak saya, harus beli beg tambahan takpun kena duduk atas beg baru boleh zip! Lepas tu berdebar-debar kat imigresen.

Saya rasa Tebby tu haruslah meronda mencari tempat-tempat makan yang dipromote dalam AFC. Balik nanti wajiblah dia mewar-warkan kat saya sampai meleleh air liur makcik nih..

Yang, baliklah cepat. I rindu kat you. (apa.. ingat dah 8 tahun kawin, tak reti rindu-rinduan ke? makin menjadi-jadi adalah!)

Ahhh.. finally the house looks liveable again albeit toys yang berada di hampir semua tempat. Semalam cleaners datang and they took quite sometime to finish off the usual stuff. Maybe sebab yang datang semua orang baru. Or was it kebersepahan rumahku yang melambatkan diorang? Whichever.

Today is 37th day. Hey, I kinda miss being pregnant! Habislah Tebby pengsan kalau saya umumkan kepada dia 'Let's try for another one'. Hairan kan, sepatutnya saya yang pengsan kalau Tebby buat announcement gitu. Why him? When I stopped breastfeeding Iman, he was the one yang selalunya bangun bancuh susu memalam. When the kids were sick, he was the one yang selalunya lebih menjaga budak-budak ni. When I came back for confinement on my own, he grilled tasty Daging Bakar or did sumptous Daging Goreng. Mind you, he did that after balik kerja, which lately ni almost selalunya pukul 9.00 or 9.30 malam. Kadang-kadang dia masakkan cukup for 2 days stock tapi bini dia nih makan sampai abis sekali hadap jek. Hey, I need lots of protein okay. Since Adam's birth, he takes 90% of kerja masak-memasak. And also does the marketing on his own. Marketing di sini bermakna pegi market atau supermarket membeli groceries. Tebby knows types of fishes a whole lot more than I do, he he. I'm proud to say this sebab I know ada ramai kaum bapa yang tak kenal jenis ikan pun! Kadang-kadang Kakak temankan. Another deed he always does for me is filling up my ViVa's tank. Rasanya bini dia ni tak pernah lagi bayor duit isi minyak. Dan membawa ViVa pergi service dan seterusnya membayar whatever kos.

Having said that, on behalf of Athirah, Iman & Adam, to Tebby -> Happy Father's Day.

hello, I am a one month old boy today

It's been a month since I huffed and puffed in the labour room, pushing this little guy out. How time really flies when you're enjoying maternity leave eh?

Adam is now around 4.6kg. He gained about 900gm only since birth. I thought he'd gain at least at par with Iman i.e. 1.25kg the first month. Since they both kuat bergayut. Boys and breasts, what's new kan. The home-nursing staff from APSH also told me Adam's body is almost like a 3 months-old. Badan dia dah keras. He can lift his head up and keep it up for a long time. He can stand on his little feet. He even made attempts to roll over (followed by loud wail sebab dia sendiri terkejut bila nak tergolek tu). When I hold him on his stomach during bath, he'd kick his feet (ala-ala berenang gitu). Oh btw, do not attempt to bath him in the sink, he hates that. It's a proper bath with bath tub and all okay.

This little guy is also friendly. Dah pandai-pandai menegur orang. When we look directly at his face, he'd flash his toothless, sideway grin. Excite him even more, he'd wriggle his head, like little birdie fetching food from mummy-bird.

I eventually managed to stop calling him Iman after a few weeks. Confuse lah makcik. But then that's nothing compared to my SIL. She's known as M*kJa amongst the nephews and nieces. Bila dia ada anak sendiri, she kept on membahasakan herself to her son as M*kJa as well.

Adam is breast-fed, tho not exclusively. There were times when I really need to do something for the other kids urgently and the EBM were still in the freezer. There were times when I really need to go to the toilet and he was crying until his face turned red and his arms and feet flail wildly in protest. It's 90:10 ratio, I'd say. During the day, he feeds once every one hour. Malam pulak, he'd sleep in a strecth of 2 or 3 hours between feeding.

After a month, he has established a pattern of routine. Well, almost. Except those days when he decided to torture me with refusing to day-nap or the times he insisted to nap only in my embrace while latching on, as if his whole life depended on my t*at! But overall, relatively to Iman, Adam is easier to care tho he sent our hearts reeling with panic during his first few days of life! And he has quite a good bond with Tebby, so to speak. After night feeding, he sometimes has trouble falling back to sleep. I tried to hug and recited zikr but at most times, he'd just wide-awake. Until Tebby does that, baru dia lelap. (that gives me the opportunity to catch on with sleeping he he) Iman, was and still is attached to me. Iman ni kiranya ala-ala ketua fan-club Ummi lah, kan.

The house is still tuggang terbalik. I managed to clear the laundry tho and keep it a strict routine to wash at least every 2 days, if not everyday. Kalau tak, bertimbun kain. It's a wonder how small kids can actually keep you laundry-basket filling in to the brim. Everyday, without fail. I scrapped off a bit of 'Bree Van De Kamp' or whatever bits of that sort that are still there. Tebby's office shirts are going into the washing-machine along with other laundry. Tak sempat nak sort and wash them separately like I did before. I still hang them under shade. I'm quite strict with this one. Kalau jemur tengah panas, (tho I like to collect crisp, dry shirts at the end of the day) they won't last as long as you'd like them to be. I also stopped to 'nila' Kakak's school uniform.

Cerita Ummi dah distracted to other things eh.

Anyway.

Happy One Month Old Little Guy!

Naik Sokmo!

Arghh.. harga minyak naik lagi! Gaji naik pun dok tampung harga barang-barang yang dok naik without fail. Nanti orang kata tak bersyukur pulak kan. At least naik gaji dapat jugak tampal mana-mana yang koyak. Tapi kan.. tapi kan.. kalaulah gaji naik and harga barang tak naik, tak ke boleh put into good use, kan. Tak jadilah nak beli gelang emas bersinar-sinar kat Poh Kong tu kalau gini (Jangan marah yek, sejak kawin 8 tahun lepas, makcik tak pernah beli barang kemas, hatta sejanggut udang pon.. lagipun sudilah kiranya menghadiahkan diri sendiri sedikit barang sebab anak dah cukup kuota. Okay tak alasan nih?)

Sebenarnya sayalah yang paling katak bawah tempurung. I did not know petrol nak naik harga, until it was hiked up already. Usahkan berita berfakta, khabar-khabar angin dan gosip liar pun saya tak dengar! Sampailah semalam x-nanny Kakak dan Iman datang rumah melawat Adam. Baru saya tau he.. he..

Tebby balik rumah, trus aje tanya.. yang, you dah boleh sembahyang belum? Heh.. bukan-bukan.. itu soalan yang saya bayangkan saja. Soalan sebenar dia..

You tau ke harga minyak dah naik? RM2.70 se liter?

Tau. Tadi masa Mak Siti datang, dia cerita.

Diikuti dengan sesi membebel..

Tebby -> Kata Julai, ni suka hati dia aje nak naik ke, apa ke. Taulah diaorang ni bukannya affected sangat pun.

Me -> Memang lah, sat lagi makan nasi pun kena bayar lebih, roti canai naik harga. Segala mala lah.

Kakak -> It's getting normal (with rolling RRRRR... thanks to Cartoon Network)

Tebby & Me -> Whoaaa... budak 7 tahun pun dah pandai mengomen.

(Kesian anak aku, kecik2 dah pikir masalah ekonomi negara heh heh)

Later we had problem loggin in to the net. Tebby said 'Ha.. tu sebab minyak naik harga lah tu'. Mungkin ada kaitan jugak tuh. Maklumlah, apa orang kata nih... chain effect? Abaikan.. Ummi dah mengarut dah tu.

Nanti pulak letrik nak naik jugek. Rumah saya ni banyak lampu dah takleh guna. Alamatnya nanti, nak berjimat punya pasal, dok dalam gelap aje lah. Tak payah susah-susah ganti lampu baru. Takpun jangan guna kipas. Kalau panas, toksah pakai baju, amacam? Isk.. kenapalah fikiran ku ke situ jua?

Ha.. yang ini, nak naik takpe. Pipi makin macam kuih pau. Peha dah naik bergelang-gelang. Akibatnya, Ummi pun terpaksa menaikkan intake makanan sebab nak tampung intake susu mamat nih (Eh.. terpaksa ke.. cam rela je. Semalam dok makan kek pisang sebantal. Sib baik bantal kecik, bukan bantal besar. Sebantal sorang yekk.. harap maklum)

Adam - last week.

Baju katak hadiah from Auntie Linda, ofismet Tebby

Mittens pulak sebahagian dari hadiah Auntie Zarid

Adam - last 2 weeks.

Cam muka sapa dia nih?

My other 2 - Kakak and Iman.
Yang baju merah tu cheeky ek?

Penat OK. Tapi less stress. Maybe sebab dapat makan epal kot?

Day 1 - misteri minyak sapi

Sebagai penggemar nasi minyak, we always have minyak sapi (ghee) in our house. Without me realizing sbb sibuk dengan Adam yang melalak-lalak, Iman took out an opened-can from the fridge. Minyak sapi ni kalau tak refrigerate, memang akan cair. Iman letak tepi TV sampai cair then he dipped kain lap dalam tu and sental a small part of the TV rack dan beg-CD dia. And another he dipped another kain, still saya tak perasan. Sampailah dia sapu atas kepala dia, ala2 letak minyak rambut. Tebby balik rumah, cium budak2 tu, terus dia tanya.. Iman muntah ke? Apsal dia bau semacam?

Day 2 - kisah telur terbang

My kids are so into nasi these days. Sungguh sangat tidak selari dengan kempen gomen kurangkan makan nasi. Lauk feveret lak telur. Kira feveret menu diorang ni -> Nasi Kicap Telur. Kakak dah start minat ikan but then selalunya telur jugaklah. Bila Adam tidur aje, saya bersilat kat dapur. Goreng telur 2 biji. Bubuh dalam pinggan. Suruh Kakak ambik letak kat meja makan. Tiba2 dia menjerit, telur terbang.. telur terbang. Tu lah, mata ke mana, tangan ke mana. Pinggan kat tangan tapi telur dah terbang. Habis telur goreng 2 biji singgah kat lantai. Sabor je lah.

Day 2 - kisah si gunting tumpul

Tak cukup dengan telur terbang, Iman pun buat jugak part dia. Dia pi ambik gunting yang Kakak selalu guna untuk subject Arts dia tu. Diam2 dia dok dalam bilik menggunting baju Abahnya. Baju ofis pulak tuh! Sib baik bukan baju yang Tebby baru beli. And sib baik jugak, kecik aje cariknya sebab Ummi sempat tangkap dia red-handed. Terkujat dia masa saya sergah dia dok menggunting tu!

Day 3 - misteri telur mata kerbau yang buta

Hari ke-3 ni nak goreng ikan sebenarnya tapi Adam buat hal pulak so nak cepat punya pasal, telur lah jugak. Like usual, saya goreng 2 biji. Kali ni baik punya telur mata. Tang kuning tu elok je terletak tak pecah cam selalu. Time makan nasi pun tiba. Saya tengok pinggan telur takde bawah tudung saji. Aikk.. mana pulak peginya. Rupanya Iman tengah syok aje korek tang kuning tu dia bedal sorang2. Sekali lagi sabor. Panjang muncung Kakaknya tengok tinggal telur putih aje. Sib baik ada 2 biji. Sebiji lagi Iman tak sempat kerjakan.

Itulah kisah saya sepanjang 3 hari dengan budak2 nih. Mulanya cadang nak hantar Kakak and Iman ke taska so I have just Adam to mind. Tapi kesian pulak. Time cuti2 sekolah ni, apa kelas pegi taska kan. Dahlah Ummi ada kat rumah. So, dengan semangat keibuan yang tebal (ceh.. ayat patriotik), I let them stay home with me. Kecoh memang kecoh. Ada masa, sorang dok sibuk nak makan nasi, sorang lagi be**k pulak. Ada masa pulak, sorang tu sibuk tanya pasal grammar English, yang sorang lagi menggunting baju Abahnya. Ada sekali tu, sebelah tangan goyang buai Adam, sebelah lagi suapkan nasi Iman. Ada sekali lagi tu, melayan Kakak makan nasi. Sebelah tangan suapkan Iman. Adam lak elok2 parking atas riba menetek dengan jayanya. Adoilah. Time ginilah rasa nak sangat ada maid. Rumah tunggang terbalik. Kain bertimbun tak berlipat. Baju sekolah Kakak tak sort lagi. And know what, kasut sekolah dia pun belum basuh. Tadi je sempat sental bag sekolah dia.

Ni belum lagi saya masuk kerja balik nih.. isk.. isk.. isk...

Adam while in NICU. Nampak tak kepala dia dok dalam tong cam aquarium tu?
We could only usap-usap dia from the round-opening at the sides tu.

After he was released from NICU. Wayar tak nampak dah sebab tido terbalik gitu.

Sian anak Ummi. Kecik2 lagi dah kena cucuk tangan tu..

I'm back.

How very rude of me not thanking you all. Pertaining to Adam's birth, thanks for the visits, SMSes, phone-calls, notes and concerns. Really appreciate that. Minta maaf kalau phone calls terpaksa di cut-short. Almaklumlah, fan-club saya ahlinya dah bertambah. Demanding belaka pulak tu! Lagi-lagi minta maaf kalau ada calls yang saya tak dapat jawab. Jangan ingat saya sombong pulak ek. Kadang-kadang tak menang tangan nak melayan anak-anak.

Ada yang nak tahu, what actually happened to Adam sampai ke NICU. Kalau diingat-ingat balik, masa kat dalam labour-room tu, nurses agak panik when they saw fresh-blood oozing out. Don't ask me kenapa. Cuma yang saya tau, there were not supposed to be fresh blood masa labour process (unless from epi lah kan). And another time, masa tu Adam memang dah nak keluar sangat dah. The nurses kept on encouraging me to push kuat-kuat sikit sebab Adam's heart-beat was getting slower and slower. Masa dia keluar pun, he did not cry. Masa buat suction baru bunyi cam merengek-rengerk. Like I told before, he was white. I had wanted Dr Nasir for a paed tapi dalam keadaan kelam kabut and cemas gitu, who-ever paed yang on-call malam tu would do. Sib baik saya pernah jugak bawak anak-anak beberapa kali jumpa dengan paed yang ini. He's good as well. Dr Christopher Lim. We were informed Adam was put in an incubator. I was too dazed and tired from the labour process so I dozed off shortly after.

Sunday 11 May 2008

At around 11.00a.m. kami diberitahu Adam was rushed to NICU. Tebby dah mula resah. Suami saya tu, kalau bab anak-anak ni, memang concern dia no 1. Anak tak sihat, dia ikut sama tak sihat, makan tak lalu, tidur tak lena. Lagi teruk dari penangan cinta! Saya pulak masih rasa sakit-sakit. Around noon, Tebby tolak saya atas wheel-chair ke NICU. Iman pulak berdiri bergantung kat tempat pijak di wheel-chair tu. Masuk ke ICU, sekilas saya nampak sorang baby kat dalam NICU. No other baby so memang confirm that was Adam. Nevertheless, kami diarahkan to wash and scrub our hands dulu. Then pakai lak sanitiser. Baru boleh pegang-pegang Adam. Pegang pulak bukanlah boleh angkat and peluk cium. Setakat dapat usap-usap aje. Nak cium pun tak boleh! Bahagian kepala ke atas duduknya dalam bekas seakan aquarium. Cuma boleh sentuh-sentuh gitu aje. He was supposed to be with me, enjoying his first moments in my arms and yet he had to spend his first few days, alone. Berselirat dengan wayar segala. Yang hairannya, setitik airmata pun tak gugur masa tu. On now, while typing this, baru saya rasa sebak. Hairan kan, after 22 days. We made a few more trips to NICU that day.

Monday 12 May 2008

My O&G told me Adam was released from NICU. Saya sangat excited. Nevertheless, kami masih tak boleh angkat dan peluk dia. He was put in an incubator, again. Wayar-wayar masih ada, cuma jumlahnya berkurangan. Tangan dah kena cucuk masuk IV. They feed him plain water and later sebab tak ada susu lagi, his first feed was just formula. Since he couldn't suck on my teats yet time tu, I tried pumping. Walaupun saya tak boleh feed directly, at least he'd get some of his Ummi's milk. Dapatlah less than 1oz tapi saya hantar jugak ke nursery so Adam dapat jugak minum susu Ummi dia.

Tuesday 13 May 2008

He was released from incubator tapi still we couldn't room-in together sebab he needed to be under warmer. Hari itulah pertama kali saya (selepas di labour room) dapat angkat dia, pegang dia, peluk dia, cium dia and feed dia. Every 3 jam saya ke nursery to feed him. That was how it goes for the next 2 days.

Thursday 14 May 2008

Buat pertama kalinya Adam ditolak masuk ke bilik saya dan ditinggalkan di bilik ward saya. They still get him every 8 hours for his antibiotic. At times, I had to send him off to nursery to top-up his feeding sebab lepas bergantung, he was still resah gelisah, macam tak kenyang.

Friday 15 May 2008

Dibenarkan balik. Itupun dah lewat. Sebab utamanya nak dapat release from Pantai memang lama gila. Secondly sebab nak complete course antibiotic Adam. By then both his hands and one foot dah kena cucuk. Masuk IV, ambik darah, cucuk ubat.

He's diagnosed as 'puerperal sepsis'. A kind of infection. Alhamdulillah, dia tak kena jaundice.

Ada juga yang bertanya tentang kos sebab saya dan Adam stay dari Sunday sampai Friday. Since Adam had his own admission, bill dia separate from mine and was covered by the company. It was close to RM4K. As for me, it was RM5.5K. Sib baik company cover partially. Tebby kata, lebihan yang dia topped-up tu, kira dia belanja lah. Hadiah bersalinkan anak ke-3!