Saturday, March 31, 2007
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
When he told me he wanted to pursue his MBA, little did I know he was dead serious. Given our situation at that time, anymore changes was the least welcome in our life. At least to me.
Next I know, he was offered a scholarship.
At that time, he was attached to a PMO which was overlooking the major restructuring of this company that eventually took effect in July 2004. Months before the implementation was tense, so did months after. Him not coming back home until the wee hours in the morning was normal. Him coming back before 8 or 9p.m. was rare. When his MBA classes started in June, he was not around during weekend as well. And I was expecting our second child, Iman. We swallowed the changes slowly. Nothing graceful about that. Until at one point we were getting used to that arrangement. And when we felt as if we could breath easier, Iman came along. He was not easy to care during his infant days.His constant crying, extraordinary attachment to me making things hard for everyone especially Kakak. It was very hard for her to come to term with Iman and to the fact that I had to spend more time with Iman than with her.
In short, we pulled through. The 2nd year of his MBA saw only one day of the 2-days weekend at UTM as compared to both Saturday and Sunday the year before. Mdh did his project paper slowly but consistently. Nevertheless, we were still tested. For those few followers of this blog, surely know how we went in and out of APSH endlessly last year. And end of last year, with the handling over of his project paper after a few corrections and what nots, kami menarik nafas lega. We could have our normal live back. With some new friends we picked up along the way as bonus. Not to mention the good time we spent in Korea last September.
Last weekend, I was so proud to witness him receiving his scroll. Other than the Master Degree per se, that scroll symbolizes the pain and joy, the sweet and sour, segala cabaran dan dugaan yang kami tempuhi and a lot more that I can’t describe in words.
To my husband,
Congratulations Yang. I always know you could do this despite the odds we faced along the way. Btw, when you sms-ed me during the ceremony saying how indebted you are to me, Kakak and Iman, you’d better be! Just repay us by loving us sampai bila-bila.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Today is the 40th day and I am obviously past-due. I did upt yesterday. Waited for 10-15 minutes and it was -ve. Left the test without looking anymore. Until just now. And I saw another very-very-very faint line. I am quite sure it wasn't there yesterday. The possibilities is either I am really pregnant or it was a false-positive or the test stick itself was faulty.
Congrats me not yet, please. I am quite confident I am not pregnant. Well, safety measures were carefully executed. Check my milk-supply and it is still there (I have a very-very-very high prolactin level, even when I am not breasfeeding. So while the milk is there, prolactin is high, chances are, I don't ovulate). And I don't feel different. But anyway, kun-fa-ya-kun, right.
Tomorrow I shall do another test, just to be sure.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Friday, March 16, 2007
Have you met Kikkerr, Iman's buddy? He's caught naked after a shower last night while drying himself. It's almost impossible for me to get Kikker into the washer and have him cleaned. Like good buddies, they are always together. Iman has 2 actually but somehow he prefers only one of them. He'd have Kikker close to his face when he sleeps. I mean really really really close. Semalam, tengah member tu syok-syok main (dan mematahkan Magic Wand Kakak, which was bought together with Barbie's Annika), saya ambik Kikkerr dan masukkan dalam mesin basuh. Pilih cycle yang paling cepat and within 1/2 hour, Kikkerr landed on this small fan for drying. Nevertheless, Iman found out before Kikkerr was completely dry....
Thursday, March 15, 2007
the seeds, in foil pack
after 2 weeks
I mix tanah biasa and tanah hitam. Campur baja sikit. Then semai benih. Then tutup bekas semaian dengan plastik. Lepas dah tumbuh, baru buang tutup plastik tu. From my reading, after anak pokok tu umurnya at least sebulan or bila ada at least 4 daun, boleh transfer into pasu besar or tempat tanaman sebenarnya. Ours has more than 4 leaves already walaupun belum cukup sebulan. Kira dah boleh pindah dah. But still finding time to do it. Furthermore belum beli pasu and jaring 'sunshade' tu lagi. For that also, we're still finding time untuk membelinya.
If you're stressed out, rather than go shopping, why not try gardening. Best tau...
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
I land at the usual place I did for the past 2 years. No more no less. Being at where I am now, it seems like almost impossible to get better than that. I just hope the bonus will be of better rate. And the increment as well. Greedy huh? Mdh got better rating than I do. Being him, that came as a no-surprise to me. He's committed to his work and at times, he's even married to his work! Sampai tak balik rumah, I tell you. Yang herannya, those events normally happened when I was heavily pregnant. Sib baik time labor-show keluar, he's at home. And yang peliknya, both times pepagi morning time orang nak pegi office. Maka bersesak-sesak lah kami di MRR2 tu!
Anyway, back to the topic. We are all waiting for the BIG news. Ye lah, profit 2006 was bigger that 2005 so logiklah if we expect something bigger than last year kan. Not that I'm in dire needs of cash tapi kalau dapat big-fat-cheque tu, bolehlah clearkan hutang-hutang yang dah tinggal seciput sana and seciput sini. And kalau increment bagus, dah terbayang-bayang dah kereta sebijik ni. Bolehlah tukar baju anak-anak sikit. Dan renew my office attire. Err.. in fact, dah pi tempah pun last weekend a few pairs. Sungguh 'guruh di langit, air tempayan dicurahkan' ek? Being a 33 yo, I think I now have better control of my gluttony to shop. I took the advanced-payment option last year and I still have 3/4 of the money. 1/4 was spent on Elken. Tu pun for my kids. Bear in mind, things you want may not be the things you need. And you don't always get what you want anyway. The key here is to be thankful Bersyukurlah.
Hemm.. bila time-time macam ni, banyaklah grievances yang kedengaran. Exception perhaps for those who land at 5 lah kot. With this force-ranking at whatnots, sampai bila-bila pun ada suara-suara yang akan berbunyi. For myself, I have no objections. I took unpaid leave, I was on long-leave whenever my kids were warded. I tried to hand in reports as punctual as possible but at times, I missed a day or two. So, I think I deserve being at where I am. Oh ya, did I tell you all that I welcomed 2007 with a renewed spirit and resolutions. In fact I've been working hard since then until now. *bangga* Let's just hope the spirit won't fade away along the way.
I remember back in the office where I used to work. Kononnya rating best-est tu akan ikut rotation. Yeah right. Every year the same muka maaaa.. who can tahan. Especially when you know that person this person helped the appraiser with their shopping as well. Adehh...
Okaylah. For those who scored above-average, congratulations. Keep up the good work. For those 'averagers' like myself, get into the mood, we sure have a lot to do to prove our worth. For those who didn't get good rating, it is a fact that sometimes you are being the victim of situation.
Okie dokie. Time to do calculations. Gaji March kurang maaaa... kan ari tu unpaid leave seminggu. Kena adjust budget!
Monday, March 12, 2007
Friday, March 09, 2007
tambah susah nak membelog sebab laptop went kaput. browser jadi mereng. 2 kali sikulat tolong cuba buangkan benda-asing yang amat degil tu. kedegilannya memang melampau sebab sudahnya laptop kena format balik. oh ya sikulat, kalau anda tertanya-tanya kenapa saya membelanja anda semua di Secret Recipe a few days back, itu tanda terima kasih saya. Zarid dan Rahmah pun saya ajak samalahh. kita kan sekeluarga!
back to the tittle. pagi tadi saya ambik cuti. separuh hari. bawak Iman untuk check-up dia. he's getting better after kami mula guna aerochamber tu. takdelah nak kata 100% sihat tapi sekurang-kurangnya hingus dan batuk semakin berjarak. tidaklah memannnjaaaannnggggg tak sihat. and alhamdulillah, he needs not go for follow-up anymore. kalau perlu saja kami akan datang. saya bersyukur sesangat. dia pulak sekarang tak berapa berselera makan. susu macam biasa lahh... kalau seminggu tak 2kg susu, tak sah. beberapa minggu lepas saya dan suami ada sikit excited. for a week dia tak bangun malam untuk menyusu. legalah saya time tu. dia dah 28bulan, sepatutnya dah berhenti bangun malam 16 bulan yang lepas! itu ikut ideal situation lah kan.
kakak pulak semakin petah berbahasa inggeris. satu hari tu saya terkejut dia kata 'that is ridiculous'. i can speak to her in english and she understands. cuma bila dia nak membalas balik tu ada tergagap-gagap sikit. lepas ke APSH tadi singgah di Atfal. Nak membayar yuran + bertanya perkembangan. kalau tahun lepas kakak ni top 10, tahun ni dia dah masuk kelas kedua. not a very good development. walaupun kalau boleh saya nak dia sentiasa 'ngetop', saya harus terima hakikat itu. the consolation is that, teacher dia kata dia bukan tak cerdik tapi sebab dia banyak tak hadir tahun lepas maka dia tertinggal. dan dia suka berangan dalam kelas. saya akui kalau hari-hari bekerja, masa untuk saya luangkan dengan anak-anak agak terhad. baru-baru ni saya ada beli BrainQuest. setiap hari saya cuba 5-10 soalan dengan kakak. very basic like 'up & down', 'in & out' and such. setakat ni dah 50 soalan dah habis.
rasanya itu saja update saya kali ni. bila next time nak membelog pun taktau. minggu depan cuti sekolah tapi saya kena buat preparation untuk operation meeting dan distribution of KPI kepada setiap state. the other week pulak saya akan ke JB. oh ya, suami saya akan berconvo di Skudai. kira convo cum bercuti sekali lah.
okaylah, duty callss
Friday, March 02, 2007
Yesterday my nenek-sedara passed away. On my father’s side, she was the last surviving nenek-sedara. She fell in the bathroom and lost consciousness. Since it was about 4p.m., she may have gone there for ablution and prepare herself for Asar prayer. She was then brought to a nearby clinic where she was pronounced dead. Wan Chu, as I fondly called her. She was maybe 80 yo.
I remembered how I used to go to her house everyday, except on Friday during my primary school. Saya belajar mengaji dengan dia. Dari Muqaddam sampailah khatam Qur’an. Alhamdulillah, saya khatam buat kali pertama sebelum memulakan sekolah menengah. She was the Guru. She had 4 grandchildren living with her, after the demise of the children’s mother. Since the children, or should I say my 2nd cousins are about the same age as I do, we were friends. At times, I spent the night at her house. Had fun roaming in the nearby bushes or go soaking ourselves in the nearby small-river. More like a tali-air actually. No matter how mischievious we got, she never raised her voice. Except for a few ‘ayyyy’ or ‘buat mende tu’. But that was all. She was very soft-spoken, wore a very soft appearance, the kind you never got tired looking at.
When I was in secondary school, I rarely went to her house. Maybe on Hari Raya, every year. Then it was alternate-years when I got married. When given duit-raya or some humble packets of biscuits or teabags or sugar, she’d raise her hands and thanked Allah for the rezeki and prayed for the wellbeing of us all. Automatically we raised our hands as well. Last Eid, she came to my parents house. Albeit her uzur-ness. She could hardly walk. Memang dah bongkok sangat-sangat. And that was the last time I saw her.
She passed away yesterday, Thursday 1 Mac 2007, at approximately 4p.m and will be buried today 2nd Mac before Friday prayer.
And yet today, as she’s being prepared for burial, I am here. Dek sebab tuntutan duniawi, saya tak dapat balik. How I wish I were there. How I wish I could kiss her for the last time.
All I could offer is my long-distance prayer. And how her death reminds me of my long neglected Quran which I last read long ago.
Al-Fatihah to Wan-Chu, Fatimah Zaharah.