Friday, March 02, 2007


The skirt I have on today is too flair to my husband’s liking. The blouse has small gaps in-between its stitches and how I wish I’d worn the boots instead of my yearrrrssssss-old Lewre court-shoes. My life is so jumbled-up at the moment. I seem to be at loss on what to do next.

Yesterday my nenek-sedara passed away. On my father’s side, she was the last surviving nenek-sedara. She fell in the bathroom and lost consciousness. Since it was about 4p.m., she may have gone there for ablution and prepare herself for Asar prayer. She was then brought to a nearby clinic where she was pronounced dead. Wan Chu, as I fondly called her. She was maybe 80 yo.

I remembered how I used to go to her house everyday, except on Friday during my primary school. Saya belajar mengaji dengan dia. Dari Muqaddam sampailah khatam Qur’an. Alhamdulillah, saya khatam buat kali pertama sebelum memulakan sekolah menengah. She was the Guru. She had 4 grandchildren living with her, after the demise of the children’s mother. Since the children, or should I say my 2nd cousins are about the same age as I do, we were friends. At times, I spent the night at her house. Had fun roaming in the nearby bushes or go soaking ourselves in the nearby small-river. More like a tali-air actually. No matter how mischievious we got, she never raised her voice. Except for a few ‘ayyyy’ or ‘buat mende tu’. But that was all. She was very soft-spoken, wore a very soft appearance, the kind you never got tired looking at.

When I was in secondary school, I rarely went to her house. Maybe on Hari Raya, every year. Then it was alternate-years when I got married. When given duit-raya or some humble packets of biscuits or teabags or sugar, she’d raise her hands and thanked Allah for the rezeki and prayed for the wellbeing of us all. Automatically we raised our hands as well. Last Eid, she came to my parents house. Albeit her uzur-ness. She could hardly walk. Memang dah bongkok sangat-sangat. And that was the last time I saw her.

She passed away yesterday, Thursday 1 Mac 2007, at approximately 4p.m and will be buried today 2nd Mac before Friday prayer.

And yet today, as she’s being prepared for burial, I am here. Dek sebab tuntutan duniawi, saya tak dapat balik. How I wish I were there. How I wish I could kiss her for the last time.

All I could offer is my long-distance prayer. And how her death reminds me of my long neglected Quran which I last read long ago.

Al-Fatihah to Wan-Chu, Fatimah Zaharah.


aida said...

al-fatihah to your nenek saudara
i can't remember how old is my grandma, tiap2 tahun rasa umur dia 63, but that was way back when i was in my u days.. dah 70 lebih kot

pB said...

sedih nya entry nie..

Al Fatihah buat nenek sedara Ummi.

Yang hidup akan mati...
yang pastinya, ia tetap akan dtg walau kita kdg lupa akan kehadirannya itu...