Monday, December 10, 2007

Letting Go - Lesson 1

Call me one pathetic mother. I think I am.

Last 2 weeks (while on MC), I got a call from Atfal asking me whether to let Kakak join their 'Kem Anak Soleh'. I happily agreed before I got to know, among others, she'll have to stay overnight in school. Away from me. I retreated my agreement and asked for sometime to think over. Even when I have not decided if she's going or not, I have started worrying. What if she cries at night. Would she be able to get up as early as 5.30a.m. for morning prayer. Would she be able to go through a day without TV? Who would she go to, to wish 'Good night, I love you'. All the what if's and would she's...

Tebby is taking it like any father or rather man would. He told me, for God's sake
1) it's just one night
2) her school is less than 5 minutes drive away (if he drives)
3) she's 6 years-old
4) lots of her friends will attend as well
5) not that she's never been separated from us

So, I decided to let her. Filled in the form and attached the fee.... And sent her this morning. Can't wait to pick her up tomorrow.

Come to think of it, I think I won't let her to go to boarding school, when she grows up, and if she gets the offer. Except if she insists, kot. And I'm gonna cry buckets 2 weeks before, and after. And maybe each time school holidays end. True, that is so like aeon in future, but I can do my thinking now. Right?

No wonder parents are so picky when it comes to their daughter choice of husband. As our religion teaches us, once a daughter gets married, her priority will be her husband but for a son, it remains the mother. So, the right choice is, undoubtedly crucial huh.

Kakak is going to start her Primary 1 on the 3rd January 2008. I am planning to take a week leave. Or even a month or two if I could actually. The 'veteran' mothers in my office said, '2 hari je dah cukup. Nanti budak tu yang suruh kita balik'. I just can't help it. Pathetic, am I not?


Kaklong Syikin said...

salam ummi,

doa kita sbg ibu mudah makbul. jdi, berdoalah sentiasa supaya segalanya mudah buat kakak.specific kan doa kalua perlu apatalah lagi perkara2 yg kita risau ia akan berlaku, mintalah ia dijauhkan.

tak perlu tunggu nak doa atas sejadah. tengah menaip kerja tu, tiba2 ingatkan kakak, terus berdoa moga kakak ok kat sana. yg pnting yakin doa kita dimakbulkan. Jangan lupa minta Allah lindungi dia sentiasa. insyaALlah makbul. Allahkan suka hambaNya yg suka merayu kat DIa...

saya pun terfikir tak mo anak masuk boarding school, tak sanggup pisah lama, apatah algi nak benarkan dia further study oversea hehe.

ummi said...

kaklong ~ terima kasih atas nasihat. saya ni mmg 'kaki risau' sikit bila tiba bab anak2 ni. sah2 malam ni saya mesti dok pikir pasal dia nih.

study oversea? saya ikut sekali kot! he he

Anonymous said...

Kak Tie,

Tak pathetic.. I feel you.. huhuhu

neways, dgr citer, ada quota utk stf*oga kids to masuk asrama.. tapi like u said, sanggup ke kita nak lepaskan derang pegi?

kids grow up soo fast.. huhu nasib baik tak caesar, kalau carsar belum habis sakit dalaman lagi anak dah besar.. huhu adoila..


ummi said...

mc ~ at this point i don't think i'd ever be ready to let them go. tapikan takkan forever nak dok bawah ketiak mak kan. this is a lesson i'd have to learn. the hard way, definately!

~ahni~ said...

Anak saya yang sulong tu lelaki tapi saya memang tak bagi la dia overnight (for what ever camp) kalau dia baru berumur 6 tahun! May be I will let him when he is... say... 20 years old?

So how is Kakak?

ummi said...

ahni ~ as mak, saya rasa perasaan macam tu normal, tak kira anak lelaki atau perempuan. pg td pun tak jumpa dia sbb dia dah ada aktiviti. ptg semalam dia ada jugak tanya2 pengasuh and cakap nak balik. tp kejap aje. ada kawan2 semua, dia pun seronok. mak dia yang dok terjaga2 malam2 teringat2 anak.

oren said...

saya suka kalau Mira dpt pendedahan mcm yang ur Kakak dapat..sebab Mira nih jenis pemalu,, in order to encourage her to have self confidence, itu jek la caranya..

sbb yg saya tau, si Mira nih, kalo saya takde, dia bleh managed diri very well..takde nangis2..tapi if i am around, jgn harap la..manja lebih2 drpd adik2 dia lagi..

ummi said...

oren ~ kakak ni personaliti dia takdelah pemalu sgt tp tak le extrovert. she's curious about many-many things like how many toes kucing ada or why certain people are born disabled. banyaklah soalan dia.

last year dia macam 'down' sikit. maybe dia rasa ketinggalan dengan kawan2 yang dah pandai membaca, pandai tulis. probably sbb dia banyak sgt masuk ward, tu yang tertinggal. as a mother i admit mmg risau jugak sbb i know it was affecting her confidence (which I've been trying to build sejak dia kecik). lots of encouragement, pujian, tunjuk ajar and doa, alhamdulillah she's coping. she maynot be the best girl in the world but to me, she is.

and recently she got an award for being one of the high achievers in Atfal. totally unexpected. i told her, even if she did not get the award, I would not love her any less.

syahdu pulak rasanya...

aida said...

alamak syahdunya posting kali ni
my amni & fawwaz are happily playing kat kampung

saya pulak rasa sedih sebab rumah sunyi

ummi said...

aida ~ when you leave the kids with their grannies, it's different from leaving them kat tempat lain. kalau ngan atok nenek, the worries are less except cuma takut kena tungau sbb main dalam semak or over manja dengan atok nenek. or even takut ayam atok mati kena balun dek budak2 tu!

my husband told me semalam - we'll have to learn to let go juga. they'll grow up, they'll spread their wings one day.

kaezrin said...

adehhh i feel u...even my son pun baru nak masuk 4 thn but the prospect dier nak buat itu ini sometimes worrying me....adehhhh

ummi said...

elin ~ that's what mother are kot. tukang risau, tukang nangis and all. besarnya ikatan yang Allah kurniakan between a mother and child kan.