On Being Parents

barely 2 days after her little 6yo birthday party, she asked, when she's a little bit older, if, she can go out with friends. my-oh-my. just the thought of her asking me for some personal space with friends, i felt drained - emotionally. maybe i am not ready to share her with the rest of the world. maybe i want to be HER world. and i know that is so not forever possible.

anyway.

i remember a friend once told me. masa anak kecik, kita penat badan. bila dia besar, kita penat perasaan. i am between the two. at 6yo, kakak has lots (already? belum masuk bab pms lagi tu!) of emotional ups and downs that i need to tackle. at times she leaves me emotionally disturbed. have i been a bad mother? haven't i showed enough affection? thoughts of that sort. Iman challenges me physically. he's always on the move. he always has things to do.

but i'm loving every minute being a mother.

along the short 6 years i officially became a mother, i have a list of mental note..

1. there's no ABC's and 123's fixed in parenting. there's A+, B-, 1+2=C and many more. you can read. you can find through the net. but what works best for your own children, will be your own unique formula. with kakak, it's more psychology and with Iman, i need to raise my voice a bit.

2. your child has his/her own pace. he/she may be relatively faster/slower as compared to other children his/her age. i know it's tempting to have a child who reads, writes, counts ahead of other kids but can't we just let them be children? they deserve it. at times, the harder you push them, the more they dislike.

3. you love them, why keep your feeling? hug, kiss, embrace, tell them verbally how much you love them.

4. restrict comparing too much. he is he. she is she. why do we want them to be like someone else? how would you feel if they want to choose other people as parents, other than you?

5. be prepared emotionally, physically and financially.

i still have a loooonggggg way to go. once a parent, always a parent. even when you children are parents themselves. regardless of whatever stage i'm in, i pray to God i'll always have THAT special place in their hearts.

*sob* (<---- hopelessly emotional)