Post Natal Blues

I am so stressed! Hormonal me, I guess. Lack of sleep. I can't do much during the day since Adam wants to nurse like at 1/2hr, 45minutes, 1hr interval. Ikut suka hati dia lah. Ye lah, dia pun baby lagi kan. Kekadang tu dia nak bergantung je. As if his life depends on my boobs. Yes, in a way since I am his milk supplier kan.

I am on my 14th day. My jiran was surprised the other day to see me outside the house sending off Kakak to school. If only she knows that I already started doing the laundry, cooking, sental kasut sekolah Kakak. Tho I wake up 'on-demand' to feed Adam, I still have another 2 kids to care about and to give me a run around as early as 6a.m. My stitches can still be felt down there tho the cut has partially healed. How do I know? I called for APSH's home nursing service for 7 days. She checks Adam. Gives Adam his bath and gives advise on nutrition and whatnots. She checks my BP and temperature. Checks my rahim dah kecut ke belum (dah kecut tapi perut still buncit okay) and checks my epi. I got 4 stitches the other day. Oh ya, as a proof betapa stressednya saya, ari tu BP saya high tho sepanjang pregnant okay jek.

Berpantang melayu-style doesn't help at all. Lack of nutrition, very little or no fibre at all, little liquid intake, jalan kena tersiput2, no sugar. In short, just take nasi sekepal dengan ikan kering, plus air barang segelas sehari. How's that? To be frank, I feel weak, not energentic, letih and ntah apa-apa lagi lah. Masa I had to stay for 6 days in APSH sbb Adam kena warded, I ate secara sihat. I was still careful with the selection tho. Kiranya saya pick the 'least evil' menu from the list. Walaupun baru bersalin, rasa cam sihat dan segar. Few days back, I got constipated and you all taulah kan berapa attempt kena buat before you can actually 'do' it. Thank God Adam's umbilical cord dah tanggal on 11th day. I started taking jamu then. Nona Roguy Phyto Natal. It works guys. Try lah. With Adam yang nak menetek selalu, dengan maknya yang kurang zat = seksa. My mom kata sebab 'container' kecik je, tu yang susu tak cukup. I know I am not Dolly Parton, but hey, I need some support here. Know what, I'll give up all these pantang-larang. I'm giving myself until next week. Lepas tu makcik nak makan secara sihat. Nak makan nasi banyak-banyak, nak minum air banyak-banyak. Nak makan sayur. Nak makan buah.

I am cranky kan? I feel like running from all these... Jangan makcik meroyan sudah..

Oh, btw, I am going balik kampung esok. Kakak cuti sekolah (Iman cuti bersalin jugak, dah berzaman tak pegi tadika) so dia nak spend sometime kat kampung. Will be back next week. I won't be able to read mails or to blog sbb I don't plan to carry my laptop along. Apa2 hal, SMS me ok.

Muhammad Adam - Mirror Mirror On The Wall, Who's The Biggest of Them All?

Adam - just after birth

Special pose from Adam to his Ummi's blog readers

Alhamdulillah. Muhammad Adam selamat dilahirkan pada 11 May 2008 (Hari Ibu), pukul 3.22pagi. Berat badan 3.74kg (by far the biggest in my and Tebby's family), panjang 53cm dan ukurlilit kepala 35cm.

Kakak kata 'Ummi, adik ni comel lah. Macam kucing. Can I call him kitten?' No dear. Nama dia Muhammad Adam. 'Oh,.. Adam Farhan boleh?'. No dear, just Adam. Ummi dengan Abah suka nama pendek-pendek je. Macam Iman jugak. 'Kalau Muhammad Adam bin Farhan?'. No dear.. lepas bin atau binti kenalah nama Abah sebab Abah ni ayah. 'Oh, OK. Adam.'

I am 7kg lighter and, in fact at the weight I always wanted before this. So, I need not lose anymore weight. Just to tone my muscle. My appetite, however, remains. I had 4 slices of roti gardenia, 1 mug of steaming hot milo, a few packets of biskut kering. Had my mom not around, I might've dived into cakoi and donuts Tebby bought for the kids.

Enough about me.

You may skip the next. It'll be da** long and boring. I'm jotting this down because I need to keep this as remembrance and PLUS, this is my journal.

I was a day late. During my last appointment on 9th May, Dr Ashar instructed me to go and surrender myself on the 14th if by then still tak bersalin. We had nasi ayam on Saturday. I even had a few glasses (or mugs?) of cendol, rojak mamak and tah apa-apa lagi. I was already feeling uneasy but then again, I had that feelings for a few days already. Petang tu sebelum mandi, I took Iman for a walk dekat rumah-rumah yang baru siap nearby my house. And had dinner as usual. Chit chatted as usual.

10.15p.m.
I felt the urge to pee. When I got up, I felt a slight cramp. I sat on the toilet bowl and suddenly water gushed out. Ops... mana pulak datang air nih, rasanya aku belum ken**** pun. (my previous 2 kids was with darah). Relax.. relax.. panggil Tebby. Check colour air ketuban. It was greenish and I knew Adam dah poo-poo already. See, I never had my water broke other than on hospital bed. So meleleh-meleleh ke mana jua saya pegi. Naik atas, tukar baju. Salam mintak ampun with my parents. Masuk keta. Sampai A&E, masuk labour room. I really left my mark, so to speak.

11.00p.m.
Sampai APSH. Wheeled to labour room terus. Keta toksah cite lah, banjir dengan air ketuban. The 2 kain batik did not help at all. My baju was soaking wet. Selipar pun basah kuyup. So had the usual drill. Tukar into one pair of baju hospital yang seksi itu. Tagged. Dan masuk ubat buang air besar. And checked for dilation. I was 6cm. Tapi nurse couldn't feel his head. Dapat rasa bahu je. Adehlah.. menyenget jugak agaknya. Takpe, nanti bila contraction kuat, insyaAllah, he'll be pushed into the position.

12.00a.m.
Dr sampai so the 'real' procedure started. Since it was my 3rd time and I was alrealy 6cm, nurses did not do anything sebab takut dr tak sempat sambut nanti. I was put on IV to strengthen contraction. Tebby went down for admission. Tunggu masuk Ahad baru register, kalau tak nanti kena charge for Saturday walaupun just a few hours je. Ubat will take effect in 15 minutes. I was left to mind my business after they thought me how to use the etonox. Heavenly etonox..

12.30a.m
Nurse datang lagi. Aikk.. tak sakit ke, tak dengar pun ambik gas. Sakit memang sakit tapi it was still bearable. Takmo give in awal-awal,.. nanti sampai hujung tak tahan sakit pulak. So, she increased the dosage.

1.00a.m
Started mengkhayalkan diri dengan etonox. I saw the room rotating in weird shapes. Pusing ke kanan. Pusing ke kiri. That's why I said heavenly etonox. Jangan terlebih dosage yek. Sedut time sakit je.

1.30a.m
I want pain killer! Cecepat Tebby panggil nurse. I learnt my lesson time Iman. Lambat mintak, tak sempat ambik. I was left with just etonox. This time dapat le pethidine (sp?). Sampai boleh terlelap-lelap. Kalau ambik epidural, tak tau lah apa jadi. Boleh sampai berdengkur kot? Tho I heard certain people takde effect pun bila ambik epidural. Oh ya, nurse increase kan lagi dosage IV to expedite labour process.

2.30a.m
Nurse dan gerombolannya datang lagi. Stop etonox and was asked to try pushing. Tipulah kalau saya kata bersalin tak sakit kan. Cuma tahap2 sakit tu berbeza-beza. Kalau nak buat personal ranking, the worst was Iman. 2nd Kakak and Adam's was the shortest and less painful. Tho sebenarnya masa Adam dah hampir nak keluar, I begged them to cut me open he.. he.. Makcik penat. Dr Ashar resorted to KIWI vacuum. Ntah cemana rupanya, tu kena tanya Tebby. Dia yang tengok. I was too busy pushing. Part yang paling ngeri sekali, I felt Adam was halfway tapi contraction ended. Was asked to stop pushing and breath thru mouth only and there were activities down there. Then I felt him slipped out. The time was 3.22a.m.

3.22a.m.

Adam's birthtime. Tebby tak dapat potong his cord. It was an emergency. In fact masa they put him on my chest, he did not cry. Masa buat suction baru dia berbunyi. It pun slow aje, cam bunyi protest ala malu-malu kucing jek. He was white (note - white, not fair). They cleaned him, wrapped him, gave him to Tebby for Azan. And then he was rushed to incubator.

I'll tell in other entries InsyaAllah. At this point, I can only reveal he was put in NICU (neonatal ICU) for 2 days and then back to incubator and then put under warmer for another 2-3 days. I was admitted on 11th May and was discharged on 16th May.

Big Apple Donuts Tebby bought for me. Thanks Yang.

I am still pregnant! Last week, I was relieved I gained just a mere 1kg within 2 weeks. And to satisfy my ever-growing nafsu makan (yang konon-kononnya mengidam), I've been eating and eating. Nasi Dagang, a box of donuts, KFC, Nasi Ayam. Semalam even buat Nasi Minyak with its gulai. I've stocked the fridge with ikan, ayam and whatnots kot-kot terbersalin nanti, my parents won't have problems nak makan. Deep down inside, I wish still sempat makan nasi putih with fried ikan kembong, masak lemak kobis and sambal belacan. Btw, baru balik dari check-up sebenarnya. I gained 2kg within just a week. Adam is, clinically 4.04kg. Dr Ashar said he maybe 3.4kg - 3.5kg only based on his 'professional calculation'. So far, I am on normal delivery and on waiting. Kalau by next Friday tak bersalin lagi, we'll wait another 5-7 days.

Her mung-bean project.

Did I tell you all that Kakak is hooked on National Geographic? From a forum I joined, I got to know there's National Geographic Kid. I googled for info but it seems I can't find it here. Does anyone has any idea how can I subscribe to this periodicals? From my observation, Kakak loves science subject. Perhaps sebab she got to draw, to color and do experiments. Last week she bugged us into buying mung-beans and cottons for her science project. The teacher's intention was good. But kan, kalau esok nak buat, jangan le baru hari ni nak kabo nak itu ini. Bagilah grace period lama sikit. Anyway, Tebby got the things she wanted. I refrained myself from helping her (read: doing it for her). I just observed. She did as instructed. She makes sure the cottons are always wet. Since I am on MC, she keeps on reminding me to make sure her projects gets enough sunshine while she's at school.

Books.. books... books..

Went to MidValley on Saturday. Kekononnya ala-ala last trip before bersalin with the kids. Took the chance to go to Borders for some books. Kakak got herself 2. Iman scooped 2. I bought myself some books (mostly 3 for 2). And Tebby himself, 2. Terkujat makcik masa membayornya, lebih RM400 you! Tebby spent another RM200++ for his graphic-comic storybooks (he'll never grow up in that sense). I'm done with 'Jakarta Undercover' by Muammar Emka (ps - don't buy. tak best!) and now almost halfway thru 'For One More Day' by Mitch Albom. I am so touched, so to speak. Btw, I ordered online some Habiburrahman's novel which were not sold at Borders. Like Adam, they're expected to arrive anytime soon. My gratitutes to Limaunipis and her twin, Aini and also Elin, who in some way inspired me to read more. Tapi akak ala-ala slow lagi lah.. amatur le katakan.

Kakak, in her sports-attire. She's in rumah Pahlawan, btw.

Don't they ever get tired of pink? *sigh*

She won!

Kakak had been practising sports for the past 2 weeks kat sekolah. When asked apa bahagian dia join, she oso didn't know. I'd expected she'd only be joining a march or something since she kept on telling us Kakak dah lari yang paling sangat laju tapi Kakak tak menang jugak. It's okay dear, as long as you've tried you best. Nevertheless, we bought her a pair of pink BBG sneakers last weekend. And a few pairs of track bottom to replace hers yang tercicir dalam stor masa salin baju kat sekolah. Sukan Perpaduan was held last weekend, Sunday 27th April 2008. Dia pegi dengan Tebby only. They came back at 10.30am. Aik.. cepatnya. And know what, 2 days after that, she excitedly announced that she got a medal. Rupanya anak Ummi menang 2nd place. Unfortunately there's not even a single photo. Apparently while Kakak was running with a bean bag on her head, the father was busy reading in the school canteen... And she also missed the prize-giving.