Jom Release Tension

Selepas all the chaos hantar anak balik kampung -> pegi JB untuk konvo mdh -> balik kampung ambik anak -> ke Langkawi outstation -> Iman kena HFMD (lagi) = saya penat!

I needed to relax but having to be with just myself was not an option. Tahu-tahu sajalah, kalau anak-anak ada, habis diserangnya kita depan belakang! Tak kiralah time mandi ke, berurusan dalam toilet ke, ada aje budak-budak gonek tu mengekor. Abahnya sampai dah nak merajuk, semalam Abahnya dah buat announcement ‘Abah ni dah tak laku dah sekarang…..’

Berbalik kepada relax, semalam saya sempat buat a bit of gardening. Just a bit, nothing much. Cuma re-arrange pasu-pasu kecik atas stool kayu. Eh, pokok lidah buaya saya dan semakin menghijau tau! Masa mula-mula beli dulu, taklah sehijau tu. In fact siap ada tumbuh anaknya lagi. I like...

Pokok bunga bawang (aka pokok 'taktaunama') ni saya alihkan dari pasu lain (sebab dah terlalu padat dalam pasu lama tu), dah ada tumbuh bunga baru. Tak sabar nak tengok kembang nanti. If all goes well, it'll look like this (gambar pinjam bunga pasu sebelah)


Dan satu lagi projek semalam, saya alihkan anak-anak tomato si Nurul Athirah ke bekas yang lebih besar. Sebenarnya last week saya dah alihkan 4 pokok, cuma dua yang terus hidup, dua lagi dah ‘selamat’. Semalam dengan penuh harapan saya alihkan baki anak-anak tomato yang masih ada dalam bekas semaian. Alhamdulillah, pagi-pagi tadi saya tengok semuanya masih segar dan tegak. Mintak-mintak dapatlah saya merasa makan tomato hasil tangan sendiri.. insyaAllah.

Ni pulak pokok 'taktaunama'. Progressing slowly. Semakin banyak daun. Pasu and pokok bought at Tapak Semaian Baharum kat Bdr Tun Razak, Cheras.

Survivor! Pokok gantung Kakak yang selamat. Sepasu yang lama tu akhirnya mati jugak! Tinggal sepasu lagi. Ada banyak lagi nampak tunas-tunas bunga. Can't wait for them to bloom.

Okie dokie. Have a nice week ahead everyone!

APSH082007 - The Return of HFMD

Aaaahhhhh... finally he's asleep. he's been giving me hard times these few days.

Remember how excited and relieved we were when told that Iman's routine follow-up checkup needed not to continue? That was about a month ago. A little bit less than a month, to be exact. 5 days, to be more precise. Our relief was shortlived yesterday. Woke up to Iman's all bintil2 and bintat2 on his both legs and both hands. And that was after a fever 2 days before. Yep, he got HFMD again.

Like always, my paranoid husband dragged us all to APSH to see Dr Nasir. He confirmed Iman's HFMD and advised Iman not to be sent to nursery as HFMD is contagious. It's air-borne and spreads easily. Which is why I am at home now looking after him. Next week my parents are coming over. Syukran Ya Allah... ada juga jalan-jalan keluar dari masalah ni.

It's not easy. He's been a little bintat monster these few days. Unlike last time, he behaved normally after the spots emerged. This time around he still throws tantrums and whatnots even after he got the spots. Knowing Iman, even when he's in good health, he need extra attention, whatmore when he's not! In short, I've been swearing in my heart to be frank. I had to remind myself times after times about the joy of motherhood and that not all women get the chance to be one. Sabar-sabar. I think I'm gonna read my La Tahzan book today.

Anyway.

While waiting for his turn yesterday, he was running about (like always) and I ran after him (like always). He jumped. He squatted. He ran again. At one time he slipped and fell flat on his face. Nevertheless, he got up and started the commotion again. And 'fell' and 'slipped' on his own will again and again. Not to mention we were almost at least RM5k poorer yesterday. We could've had fried arowana for lunch! He got in the clinic and swithed off the lights, aircond and oxygen suppy for the aquarium.. I tell you.. he may look cute being active but as parents, you may wish for something lesser. As for us, this is what Allah Grants us. A boy with lots to deal with. Mengajar erti kesabaran, pengorbanan dan pentingnya kasih sayang! Had it not been him, I might still be the temperamental me.

Okie dokie, pse pray for us people. For Iman to be well. For Kakak so that she won't contact the disease as well. For me and Mdh so that we'll be more patient dealing with all these. Jasamu dikenang okay! (I sound a bit off-beat kan -> lack of sleep)

Congratulation To A Special Someone - Part II - Full Entry

AMARAN - ENTRYNYA PANJANG...

Sambungan dari sini.

Kami bertolak dari KL tengahari 23032007 dengan perut yang berkeroncong dan kereta yang sarat dengan hadiah telematch. Masing-masing senyap. Masing-masing melayan ingatan sendiri, tentunya pada Kakak dan Iman (yang pada ketika itu tak tak berapa nak ingat kami dan lagi syok tengok musang yang mati kena tembak kat kampung). Ralit sangat berangan, terlepas R&R Seremban, tempat yang kami angan-angankan nak makan lunch. Maka menonong lah ke R&R seterusnya – Ayer Keroh. Sampai kat Ayer Keroh, tanpa banyak soal dan usulperiksa, terus aje menyerbu KFC. Snack-plate sorang satu. Makan senyap-senyap sebab lapar amat. Dah habis baru boleh sembang. Lepas tu kami solat jamak Zuhr+Asar. Perjalanan ke Skudai was fine. Cuaca pun menyebelahi kami, tak panas dan tak hujan. Just nice. Cuma banyak sangat area di highway yang jadi satu lane. Kena pulak lori kat depan… bawak-bawak bersabar. Akhirnya at around 6p.m. kami pun sampai di Pulai Springs Resort (selepas hampir tersesat ke bandaraya JB sebab simpang ditutup – cehh… dahlah takde signboard kata nak U-turn kat mana). 5 jam perjalanan yang serba aman. Sempatlah dengar koleksi lagu-lagu rock leleh zaman 80-an. Sambil makan sotong kering yang beli kat Ayer Keroh. Syokk ooo.



Pulai Springs Resort lived up to my expectation (except for the buffet breakfast, I must say). Nestled in lush greeneries that I thought I wouldn’t mind rolling myself on the golf course, very pristine and calming. Very serene. Our arrival was greeted by trees lining both sides of the road before we checked-in at Cinta Ayu suites. We were located at 317. I’d rate the room at no 2 after The Magellan at Sutera Harbour Kota Kinabalu. The first hotel room I went to, with timber flooring and frill-less deco. That was so us. (Nevertheless we later found a cockroach roaming freely in our room, much to our wild-imagination, it later died. I hope it had eaten death baits rather than killing itself at the sight of us. And the aircond wasn’t working properly. We were relocated to room 311. Btw, room 317 has problems with its door that I would not mind at all, to tear it down myself. We were locked out most of the time) Nevertheless, Its surrounding area was breathtaking. At least to my standard lah. Bunches of mdh’s friends arrived later. Makan dinner at one of those kedai we found somewhere there. Namanya Student Corner. Dishes came in such a commendable portion that we didn’t really mind to forego their tasteless being. After dinner, we literally dragged ourselves into bed. Too tired to do anything other than sleeping. Before I knew it, I was in ohlaalaaa land.

lobby area. i like the sandstone carving

our room

at 'Social Center'. where the wives chatted away

Next day started early. The MBA holders would need to attend their rehearsal, which (should) started at 7.30a.m. I doubted that it would start that early and indeed my intuition was correct. It started much later but the guys had fun there. Sampaikan lupa alkisah para isteri di hotel yang belum makan lunch lagi. While they were there, I decided to a spa-thingy at noon. Hajat tak kesampaian when a friend called and I jumped at their invitation for some juicy gossips, perkongsian pengalaman hidup dengan anak-anak and whatnots – sampai tengahari. There goes my spa treatment. Which I realized I didn’t mind giving up for some chatting. Petang lepas rehearsal and lunch, ada telematch lagi gitu! Mdh and me took part in belon air (which we lost), mummia (which, we, again lost). Nevertheless mdh’s 'amatur' stroke in ‘bowling buah nyor’ won him a prize. We’d planned to stroll around afterwards but it rained so we just stayed indoor planning what to eat for dinner. After much thought, we had BBQ Seafood Buffet at Gleneagles *something*.

the hall. their 38th convocation.

nak tayang hanfon samsung ku sebenarnya.. he.. he..
hadiah hari raya dari mdh.

The convocation day itself started much earlier. We had to be there by 7.30a.m. With puffy eyes, had quick breakfast. On our way to the hall, met a friend. We later went in together into the hall and hit the jackpot when we managed to secure seats nearest to the walkways, through which the graduated would be walking after receiving their scroll.

Like any other convocation in Malaysia, it was an elaborated one. Funny, I couldn’t even remember how it was during my own convocation. Godness-sake, I don’t even remember who handed our scrolls! And I can’t remember where I’d put my Buku Cenderahati, in which my name was printed. As for mdh, he attended a very much lesser frill convocation for his 1st Degree in Manchester. So, he was tortured, sort of. The waiting. The standing up, sitting down, standing up again so forth and so on.. And the way that mamat sang Radja’s Jujur and Aku Pencinta Wanita (he should’ve sang that with more ‘sengau’) to kill time while we waited, was killing me. Agak ‘sumbangsih’ but I applauded for his confidence tho.

YM Zarith Sofia, Pro-Chancellor arrived early. All chatty and friendly. Sultanah Johor was a bit late. To add to that, they went to out on robes and whatnots, the ceremony started about 30-40 minutes later than in the agenda distributed. As they walked on the red carpet (led by a serious man holding a big keris on his shoulder), they were all smiles and sungguh semerbak sekali perfumenya! Once the speeches part were done, the scroll-giving was fast. As for mdh and the gang, their past was the last one. Funny thing was that, how different their sizes were from Bachelor to MBA. Memula semua nipis-nipis aje, sampai tang MBA tu, mak-mak budak, pak-pak budak, bulat-bulat belaka. Or let’s call it horizontally-challenged. Anyway, it was the first convocation I attended other than mine. The feeling while watching your loved one on stage is indescribable. Terharu, sedih, gembira. I shed a tear or two. For him, for me and the kids as well. And for the susah senang we went through for 2 ½ years.

Lepas ceremony over, they had photo taking session outside. All sweaty from the hot weather but tahan sajalah pakai suit dan robe itu kan. Demi bergambar punya pasal. We rushed to Taman Universiti untuk ambik gambar dalam studio. Wahh.. finally we have a photo yang sesuai untuk ditayang-tayang dalam rumah. Ala-ala ‘teman dan terlebih mesra’ gitu. (read – tanpa ‘pelakon2 tambahan’. ‘pelakon2 tambahan’ akan disuperimpose kemudian). In a month time, we’ll be receiving the photos. Can’t wait. Memandangkan esoknya kami nak berkejar-kejaran balik KL and then to Temerloh to fetch the kids, segala pemulangan jubah, urusan administrative kena selesaikan hari tu jugak. Ke sana sini lah kami, macam rusa masuk kampung. Ye lah, walaupun MBA nya cap UTM, kelasnya semua dibuat di KL. In short, when it all finished, we were too tired to even melawat-lawat tapak ekspo. Balik hotel and tidoqqq.

It was a bit frustrating later that day. We’d intended to go out jogging but my sneakers were still soaking wet from the ‘belon air’ game the day before. I just watch mdh having fun with the treadmill from the kiddy pool. Nampak jugaklah mak-mak budak pakai swimming suit. (Conclusion, I am not alone in this motherhood land… nyeh nyeh nyeh) A little bit later mdh joined and adjourned into the kiddy-pool. I didn’t. I had my P that time and I didn’t want to contaminate the pool. Nanti ada yang jadi drakula pulak.

It was like a 2nd honeymoon to us (the first being our trip to Korea last September). I was having my menses btw. But marriage isn’t just about s*x, isn’t it? At one point, it’s spending time alone with your loved one, doing nothing, say nothing. Just close proximity without having to worry about Jabatan Agama lah kot! Don’t get ideas. Our relationship before marriage was decent.

Anyway, on Sunday, lepas breakfast, cecepat memulakan journey balik pulak. After about ½ hour exiting toll Skudai, I fell asleep and when I woke up, I was in KL already. In just 2 to 2 ½ hours from JB to KL. Mdh kata nak test kereta. Sukahatilah.. I just hope he won’t earn any ‘scroll’ from saman ekor pulok nanti.

Mak aihh… berjela-jela lah pulak… Warned you, didn’t I?

I Am Not - It's Positively Negative

kakak - playing masak-masak with her twin-cousins

Iman, striking a pose with Hazim, his cousin. Aren't they both 'jendul' eh?

Of late, saya suka sangat tengok budak2 kecik, babies in specific. Maybe sebab anak-anak saya dah terkeluar dari kategori babies kot. Kakak is a preschooler already while Iman who toddles, naturally is considered a toddler. Kakak is 6 this year and esok, Iman is a bubbly 29mo. That’s 2y and 5m. Despite his age, Iman doesn’t speak much. Our means of communication are often in forms of screams, tantrums, throwing things, and babbles. In other words, he needs extra attention. Anyway, at the sight of babies, girl especially, making me want to have one of my own. Now.

And yet when I missed my period and when the tester showed another faint faint faint line, I broke into tears. I felt as if I betrayed my own kids. I would not be able to be there when Kakak starts her primary next year. And I would not be able to attend to Iman’s mischievious-ness I like now. I just felt so…. unprepared.

And yet a day or two after that, I started to imagine how it would feel to hold a baby in my arms again and I secretly wished for another girl. A girl for me to dress in gowns, laces, hairclips, hairband. If possible, please grant me one with curling hair. One that I can name Nurul Nuha (I have that name ready since the birth of Nurul Athirah).

It was a mixed-feeling, isn’t it?

Just when I started to sort-of come to term with that, I got my period while I was in JB attending mdh’s convocation. It was almost a relief. Welcomed and needed.

Clearly it was a mixed-feeling.

Another baby or two is fine with me. Maybe next year when Kakak has started her primary and has stabilize herself with the new changes. Maybe when Iman tone-down a bit where his activities and temperamental is concerned. It takes two to tango right so I need to mdh to be prepared as well (as of now, he is not). And when the time comes, I hope Allah makes it easy for us.

Sorry to keep some of you waiting. The tester could’ve been faulty I think. A friend said I could’ve been pregnant actually but miscarriage. Either way, as of now, I am not pregnant.

Thanks anyway for the concern. Appreciate that.

The Tale of Langkawi

Langkawi was sure hot! Panas dan kering. Rasanya muka saya dah sunburnt dah pun walaupun saya cuma ke sana 4 hari saja. Hujung minggu lepas, selepas balik dari convocation mdh di Skudai, kami terus ke Pahang untuk ambik anak-anak yang bercuti horey-horey dengan atok dan wan nya. Hari Selasanya, dengan berat hati, saya ke Langkawi atas tuntutan kerja. Maka, tinggalkan anak-anak yang baru sehari bertemu semula dengan saya. Semasa saya menunggu untuk boarding di KLIA, dalam hati saya dah berkira-kira, cepatlah Jumaat tiba supaya saya boleh pulang semua ke KL dan bergomoi dengan anak-anak!

Oh ya. Standing ovation untuk suami saya yang single-handedly menguruskan anak-anak. Tahniah yang kerana tidak adopt role as conventional husband. Saya tak risau kalau saya perlu outstation sebab saya memang pasti he can do it. Of course, kena bagi crash-course sebelum saya berangkat. Di almari baju anak-anak saya lukiskan diagram or some kind of mapping to ease him finding keperluan anak-anak. Di dapur saya tampalkan apa yang perlu di bawa ke nursery.

Back to the topic.

Kami (saya dan cubic-mate saya, Rahmah) touch-down di Langkawi around 3ptg Selasa lepas. Hanya kami berdua. Secretariatlah katakan. Kena pegi tinjau-tinjau persiapan sebelum orang lain sampai. Terus ke resort company kami. Check-in, letak bag dan ke Pekan Kuah. Kebetulan anak-menakan Rahmah ada di sana so she drove us around tho we insisted on going here and there on our own. Lewat petang kami balik ke resort. Lepas Maghrib, kami mencari tempat makan. On foot. Dalam gelap malam. Ngeri jugak tapi perut berkeroncong punya pasal, laju aje kami berjalan. Malam tu pun ngeri jugak. Apa tidaknya, sliding door yang ada dalam apartment kami tu semuanya takde lock. Yang ada cuma lah penyangkut saja, yang saya kira boleh dikorek dari luar. Watawakkal saja lah. Lelap jugak sampai ke pagi.

Hari Rabu kami uruskan lodging rakan-rakan dan bos-bos yang bakal tiba. Rooming and whatnots. Discuss tentang itu itu. Tengahari baru ada first group sampai. Kami kemudiannya ke Pekan Kuah (lagi). Sampai ke petang, almost everyone tiba termasuk bigboss kami. Mana-mana yang sampai awal tu,.. menyerbu ke Pekan Kuah dan pulang dengan segala macam warna beg plastik!

Workshop berjalan lancar dalam suasana aman dan relaks. That's my new bigboss. What I noticed is that he managed to instill group-spirit dan as much as possible mahukan kami semua bekerja dalam keadaan relaks tapi efektif. Yelah, different people different style kan. Workshop pun was not that pack. They still have sometime to ransack the whole Pekan Kuah. Kena pulak baru dpt gaju and bonus. I had to remind myself to spend rationally.

Semalam, Jumaat, was the day I was waiting for. Going home time! Kalau pegi, the trip naik kapalterbang was paid for, time balik ni kena bayar sendiri. There was a provision for coaster and car but nak cepat punya pasal, I, and a few other opted for kapalterbang. Sendiri bayar so it was AirAsia lah kan. Dengan luggage yang dah beranak-pinak, saya kena charge excess baggage. Terlebih 7kg so kena bayar RM56.00. Lepas touch-down di LCCT, tak boleh turun pulak. Saya pulak dah terketik-ketik nak balik rumah. Hujan lebat dan berangin. Payung pulak lambat sampai. Eh, pintu depan kapalterbang tu namanya 'forward door' ke? Bukan front door ke? Steward tu kata kena keluar ikut rear door sebab forward door cannot be opened. Takut alat elektronik kena tempias hujan.

All in all, I had a good time in Langkawi. I did miss the kids (and their father) so much but since I was there, make the most of it lah kan. Akhirnya saya dapat jugak membeli set Corelle yang dah bertahun-tahun I drooled for. Yess!

Sesampai saja di rumah, anak-anak dah menjerit-jerit di pagar. Lepas tu, saya nak ke toilet pun susah. Berekor-ekor budak-budak tu mengikut. Bimbang umminya pergi lagi kot! Iman pun mulalah buat sesi 'melekap' dengan saya. Syahdunya bila saya dapat mencium kepala busuk Iman masa dia tidur! It's so good to be back! Lepas anak-anak lelap, barulah saya dapat luangkan masa dengan mdh. Rindu wooo 4 hari tak jumpa!

OK, chores call.

Congratulations To A Special Someone

When he told me he wanted to pursue his MBA, little did I know he was dead serious. Given our situation at that time, anymore changes was the least welcome in our life. At least to me.

Next I know, he was offered a scholarship.

At that time, he was attached to a PMO which was overlooking the major restructuring of this company that eventually took effect in July 2004. Months before the implementation was tense, so did months after. Him not coming back home until the wee hours in the morning was normal. Him coming back before 8 or 9p.m. was rare. When his MBA classes started in June, he was not around during weekend as well. And I was expecting our second child, Iman. We swallowed the changes slowly. Nothing graceful about that. Until at one point we were getting used to that arrangement. And when we felt as if we could breath easier, Iman came along. He was not easy to care during his infant days.His constant crying, extraordinary attachment to me making things hard for everyone especially Kakak. It was very hard for her to come to term with Iman and to the fact that I had to spend more time with Iman than with her.

In short, we pulled through. The 2nd year of his MBA saw only one day of the 2-days weekend at UTM as compared to both Saturday and Sunday the year before. Mdh did his project paper slowly but consistently. Nevertheless, we were still tested. For those few followers of this blog, surely know how we went in and out of APSH endlessly last year. And end of last year, with the handling over of his project paper after a few corrections and what nots, kami menarik nafas lega. We could have our normal live back. With some new friends we picked up along the way as bonus. Not to mention the good time we spent in Korea last September.

Last weekend, I was so proud to witness him receiving his scroll. Other than the Master Degree per se, that scroll symbolizes the pain and joy, the sweet and sour, segala cabaran dan dugaan yang kami tempuhi and a lot more that I can’t describe in words.

To my husband,
Congratulations Yang. I always know you could do this despite the odds we faced along the way. Btw, when you sms-ed me during the ceremony saying how indebted you are to me, Kakak and Iman, you’d better be! Just repay us by loving us sampai bila-bila.

Am I, What Do You Think?

My usual cycle is between 33 to 35. Last month it was 37. Or 38.

Today is the 40th day and I am obviously past-due. I did upt yesterday. Waited for 10-15 minutes and it was -ve. Left the test without looking anymore. Until just now. And I saw another very-very-very faint line. I am quite sure it wasn't there yesterday. The possibilities is either I am really pregnant or it was a false-positive or the test stick itself was faulty.

Congrats me not yet, please. I am quite confident I am not pregnant. Well, safety measures were carefully executed. Check my milk-supply and it is still there (I have a very-very-very high prolactin level, even when I am not breasfeeding. So while the milk is there, prolactin is high, chances are, I don't ovulate). And I don't feel different. But anyway, kun-fa-ya-kun, right.

Tomorrow I shall do another test, just to be sure.