life lessons came the hard way

*all smiles!* HE"S BACK! semalam discharge and at around 5p.m. he was back into our arms again. Iman excitedly greeted abah. Kakak jumped about. and not telling what Ummi did! it was just 2 days and we missed him sooo baddd. as uneventful as it may looked, i realised that i love him, need him more than i thought i did. among the things i always pray for is for our marriage to last without so much hiccup and let there be love till death do us part. it seems Allah has answered my prayer. uneventful things like that does makes our hearts grow fonder and realise how emotionally attach we are to each other. and life lessons do come by in hard ways.
(Photo~Iman lepak kat hospital while visiting abah)

remember this? i realise of late she often insists on getting-up early each morning and to shower before school. (she used to shower at the nursery before going to her playschool). tho at times she does complain (yahh, she wants it but still complains about it) but she's more alert after that (plus sekeping dua roti jem and her morning dose of cartoon network). i admit the process takes my 15-20 morning minutes away and at times mulalah nak panas hati when she buka baju lambat, gosok gigi lambat. but it looks like she enjoys playschool better these days. again, i learned it the hard way. it tests my patience but it brings down my temperamental. doa ibu lebih makbul right? walaupun hassle tapi Allah dah makbulkan permintaan ummi agar kakak lebih berminat dan gembira ke sekolah. and yes, she's coping.
(Photo1~kakak tengah sedih sbb dah nak balik rumah, she said, kakak rindu abah nanti kalau kakak balik rumah~taken on saturday)
(Photo2~kakak tengah sedih lagi sbb abah belum balik rumah~taken on saturday)













iftar semalam was a lot better with him around. we only had re-heated chicken soup from the day before and Stuffed Grilled Squid i did with some help from the little girl (and the little boy he he).
(Photos~texts exchanged seconds before azan on Saturday)

recipe can be viewed here

panahan asmara!

today marks the first half of Ramadhan 1427. bunga api pu dah mula kedengaran (termasuklah selepas waktu sahur!). kami hanya merancang, Allah yang menentukan. rancangan kami berbuka juadah homemade nampaknya agak tergendala. rancangan untuk mencuba resepi-resepi baru juga begitu. kalau dah suami sakit, nak makan pun tak selera, apatah lagi nak mencuba benda baru.

2 tahun lepas, 15 ramadhan 1425, ummi sarat mengandungkan Iman. sememangnya sewaktu mengandungkan dia, agak tidak selesa. dia seolah-olah menekan ke bawah menyebabkan kalau berjalan, terasa sakit di bahagian bawah perut. tambahan waktu itu ummi bertugas di bukit mahkamah, mdh pula di menara. selepas waktu pejabat, terpaksa menapak ke lrt station untuk ke menara. dan sebagaimana diketahui umum, rakya malaysia ni tak mengira orang tua atau keuzuran, main tolak aje. alhamdulillah Iman selamat dilahirkan pada 20 ramadhan 1425, jam 1.37p.m. kiranya kalau ikut tahun hijrah, tak lama lagi birthday Iman yang ke-2.

(Photo~Iman when he was 5+ months)

iftar semalam merupakan kali pertama berbuka sendirian. terasa janggal melihat kerusi kosong di mana biasanya mdh duduk. terasa pelik bila mencedok nasi sepinggan sahaja dan hampir-hampir sahaja menuangkan teh-O kegemaran kami ke dalam 2 cawan. sebaik azan bergema, hati jadi sebak. pengakhirannya, nasi tak sampai separuh luak, sup ayam cuma kuahnya saja, ikan masin kurau sikit tercuit dan telur dadar tidak terusik langsung! tak ada selera. anak-anak pula asyik bertanyakan abahnya. Iman terlelap awal. kakak makan nasi berlaukkan telur. selepas melipat kain, kami anak-beranak tidur di ruang tamu. sahur pun sekadar mengambil berkat. sekeping roti cicah sup ayam. cukuplah.

(Nota~teruk juga panahan asmara ni ya! makan tak lalu, tidur tak lena..)

and kakak, in the absence of her abah, asked for pah. finding comfort in the orange, long-legged thing, like she did for many-many years (before she decided she had enough a few weeks back). i guess she misses him too.

(Photo~gambar file: suatu waktu dulu)

perancangan berbuka hari ni menu nasi lagi. nasi putih. sup ayam semalam masih banyak, hangatkan saja. mungkin nak buat 'stuffed-grilled-squid' kalau keadaan dan masa mengizinkan. dan amat berharap kerusi di depan ummi akan ada orang yang duduk petang nanti!

still @426 APSH

he's still @426 APSH. dr needs to access his body tolerance towards the new medications prescribed. his discharge is postponed to tomorrow, the earliest. went with the kids to visit and deliver basic necessities to him. before we went back, suapkan Iman and Kakak their lunch. tiba masa pulang, kakak mengongoi menangis, tak mau berpisah dengan abahnya. kenalah abahnya memujuk panjang (kalau esok masih tak discharge, alamatnya pecah lah empang sekali lagi).

after the visit, i went to flag a cab to get home. about 4 or 5 just passed-by ~ some with passanger, some not. 2 or 3 stopped but refused the destinations. dalam panas petang tu, hati pun mulalah panas. kena pulak ada yang potong Q. takdir Allah, satu teksi berhenti dan setuju ke destinasi ummi. we then went to the lobby to get the kids. Iman wailed for abah, kakak sobbed quietly. but we left nevertheless. siap dapat tips from the driver, pertaining to gastric. maybe that was why teksi yang itu yang berhenti mengambil kami anak-beranak. ada banyak nasihat dan ilmu diturunkan. tiada yang mengarut. cuma yang logik dan diunjurkan agama. tak sia-sia berdiri tengah panas ya!

mdh was okay when we saw him this afternoon. he looks much better than days before. hopefully he'll be discharge tomorrow and gets a good dose of mc! (you knowlah kalau mula ke ofis ni ~ oh, you're just discharged yesterday? then after ohhhh and ahhhh, they'll be wondering if you can work overtime that day itself). and after so many years, today i'll be break-fasting alone (apart from the kids lahh). the usual rice menu. chicken soup. maybe an omelette and bits of satled fish. i miss my husband! (the kids are not of so much help either. each time a car passes by, they'll run to the door and scream 'abah balik, abah balik')

the tips to combat gastric (in addition to whatever being presribed by your doctor)
-> soak 3 dates in a glass of milk. leave for 1/2 an hour. then fish the dates out, selawat and eat. after the dates, baru minum susu.

-> he also told me eat dates routinely. in fact, his friend who sells dates said the non-muslims buy dates regularly. and many opt for mariami and kurma nabi.

426 APSH

while i'm typing this, my husband is warded @426 APSH. dr diagnosed him as having gastritis haemorrage and reflux. i am not doctor but what i can sum from the explanation and photos (they shoot a few photos during endoscopy procedure), he has a bad case of gastric (known as gastritis haemorrage) where his stomach lining has been burnt and it bled. it was made worse by the postan he took for the migraine he had (as diagnosed by the other doctor). and the reflux whereby his stomach acid being pushed (sort of) to his throat, making him all wanting to vomit.

the good news is that, those are treat-able but he has to be careful with his food intake. (that means, i have to make sure he doesn't indulge in some food. spicy, hot, sour and carbonated, to name a few. 100Plus included. and the best way to help him is for me to restrict myself as well).

I just hope this episode will be soon over tho another episode may start on Monday. i want to see him all smile and in the pink of health again. i wish our life will return to normal again. it may sound boringly routine but it will be comfortingly sure.

if you wonder, i am coping. i am 32. i have gone through event like this before. hikmahnya, ia mendewasakan! ia mengajar erti kesabaran dan ketabahan. ia pengorbanan. ia tanda kasih dan sayang. kalau dibandingkan dengan saudara kita di Palestine, terlalu kecil dugaan Allah berikan. tidak saya pinta dugaan yang lebih besar. seperti jawapan saya kepada komen Fatin, i have to look at things positively tho it is uneventful.

(Photo ~ us in front of Seoul Tower on our first day in Korea)

bila langit merah

Nota1 ~ terima kasih banyak-banyak kepada yang sudi mengirimkan email dengan kata nasihat dan pendapat. i really appreciate that.

(Photo ~ tiger guarding Iman's medications)
petang semalam matahari nampak merah. tengahari semalam, permandangan dari tingkat 23 seakan berkabus. sekejap sahaja berada di open-air, mata terasa pedih dan nafas menjadi sesak. jerebu semakin teruk! si Iman batuk tak berhenti sampailah pukul 10.00 malam. nampak gayanya memang susah dia nak recuperate dalam keadaan persekitaran sebegitu.

che abang pula semakin teruk. sebelah paginya dia okay-okay saja. sms yang dihantar ketika ummi sedang briefing ~ 'how are u so far', di jawab ringkas 'ok' seakan memberi kelegaan. selesai briefing, terlihat satu email sitting in my mailbox. katanya dia baru saja kena semula sakit kepala dan muntah-muntah. i think the medicine is not working so i asked him to go back to the clinic. that earned him another day off. petang semalam hadir satu mesyuarat lain pula. sedang mesyuarat, mobile phone berbunyi. tonenya jelas menunjukkan che abang yang memanggil. cemas. katanya muntah-muntah lagi. kali ini darah. kami berkira-kira ke hospital petang nanti. sedang memberi update mesyuarat kepada boss, che abang call lagi. katanya dia di klinik waktu itu. muntah lagi. darah lagi. dr berpendapat itu berpunca dari gastric. ponstan yang dimakan (yang diberi oleh dr lain) menambahkan lagi 'parah'. mungkin itu punca muntah darah. diberi jab dan ubat yang harus dimakan ketika itu juga. diberi satu referral letter untuk endoskopi, bimbang ulcer dalam perut. he's going to see Dr Mazlam, a specialist in gastro*something* today.
(Nota2 ~ jika anda ada tips, nasihat dan apa-apa berkaitan dengan gastric, pse feel free to drop a note here or mail me at lester88@streamyx.com)

risau? sudah tentu. mula-mula Iman, sekarang abahnya. kakak beransur baik. umminya still standing. alhamdulillah. dugaan ini pasti ada hikmahnya.

berbalik kepada posting semalam, ummi telah berjaya membeli baju raya ~ satu kebaya yang biru untuk si dara sunti, satu baju melayu biru (sedondon dengan si kakak) untuk adiknya. untuk ummi pula sehelai dress panjang ala-ala jubah berwarna hijau, lengkap dengan baju luar berkain organza, sedikit jarang, hijau juga warnanya. baju abahnya saja belum bertemu. jika ada rezeki mungkin nak cari tshirt untuk kakak, iman dan abahnya. oh ya, sandal umminya putus tali perlu diganti. bag? cukuplah sekadar menjinjing beg barney berisi diapers dan bekalan susu Iman! sebelum berbuka semalam dah cuba pada badan anak-anak. kebaya biru terletak cantik pada anak dara tu. baju melayu perlu dipendekkan tangan dan kaki seluarnya. baju ummi perlu disentengkan sedikit sebab terlalu meleret. overall, semuanya okay, cuma perlu minor alteration. semuanya di beli di bawah ofis ni. setiap khamis dan jumaat ada jualan ala-ala bazar ramdhan. sememangnya tak selera nak ke jalan TAR time-time menghampiri perayaan ni. jadi beli sajalah yang dah ada depan mata. sikulat beli baju kurung kain organza. corak batik, cantik dan kelassss gitu. zarid pulak (yang ini mmg sungguh gemar shopping) jinjit blaus dan tudung. and yes limau nipis, they're selling baju kurung siap jahit from as low as RM50.00. from the look, memang not bad.

okay, back to my personal situation,.. kawan-kawan, samada pernah bertentang mata atau tidak, tolong doakan kami. semoga diberikan anugerah kesihatan. kami redha dengan dugaan ini. Cuma kurniakanlah kami lebih kesabaran dan ketabahan dalam menghadapinya.

for eid

this is what i cooked for buka puasa yesterday. recipe can be viewed here.

Sotong Masak Lemak

(hot tea is almost a must for breaking fast)
Today is already 12th Ramadhan, isn't it? How time flies eh? Remember when we were small, it was like forever for Ramadhan to end. And now, when we woke up this morning, it's already the 12th day!

I haven't really prepared anything for Eid except for ordering a few types of cookies. Even baju raya pun takde lagi. Remember how i was so confident that i'd sew baju raya for us all? It did took off but never landed anywhere near the finish-line. I decided to just go and buy for everyone. Has Eid lost its spark to me? Well maybe. I remember how 'big and great' my preparation was. Baju raya sedondon. Jars of kuih raya. Cakes. Even CD lagu raya! (I was being overly excited as the year before I was in confinement after giving birth to Iman and Iman had a bad jaundice that we spent the 1st raya in hospital) And it ended up with cleaning vomits and sleepless nights as Iman had pneumonia. It was a 2nd consecutive year with dull celebration. 1st year with Iman and his jaundice and 2nd year with Iman and his episode of pneumonia. And now the little guy is having running nose and coughing. We do, take the opportunity in this holy month, berdoa that everything will go on well. He, she, me and daddy. Everyone.

Ops, i still have like 18 minutes to play Zuma. I'm stuck at 5-4. (Zuma is like my usual cuppa ~ in Ramadhan)

kiddy, mummy and daddy

thanks for all the views and opinions pertaining to my kids' health. the haze, today, is worse than yesterday i think. iman coughed a little lesser last night but he still vomitted, once. should you have anything more to share, do not hesitate to drop me a mail at lester88@streamyx.com

i'm on mc today. dr said i could've sprained some muscle, hence the pain in my hip when walking. the most vigorous action i last did was chasing after iman in apsh on monday. i was told to do some light exercise. and i was also told the fact that the pain could be very well prolong for a week or two. che abang is also on mc. dr said he may have migraine, hence the throbbing pain.

yesterday, breaking-fast took place in The Basil, Bangsar Village. i accompanied mdh, along with his study group treating their mba supervisor. we had kurma for starter then followed by something that resembles sirih, but eaten with udang kering, toasted coconut slices, peanut, chillies and a sauce. rice was eaten hot with seafood tomyam, black pepper beef and baby kailan. to top that up, we had otak-otak. perfectoo, despite the fact that they ordered in small portions, which can be eaten by me and mdh alone, effortlessly. really. tapi orang belanja, kan. so tak boleh menyongeh banyak. we left Bangsar Village with one cheesy hotdog each (later eaten by the kids tho).

for today, i am planning to serve Ikan Kerisi Goreng, Masak Lemak Sotong, Timun and my husband favorite - Cokodok Udang. since i am on mc, i have ample time to do all that. if we have the time, we may even go to pasar ramadhan later today. btw, the kids are still at Atfal. so that will give me the privilege to cook in peace. okay, duty calls. i'll start with scrubbing the wok first.